Thursday, 6 June 2013

yo gran

Last week, I lost my Gran. Despite having cancer, her death was sudden, something that none of my family expected, and something that you can never really prepare yourself for. Finding out that she was no longer with us crushed me, and a week later sometimes it still doesn't seem real, and I find myself thinking to myself about when I will next visit her.

My Gran was the best Gran you could wish for, always making me laugh without being intentionally funny, and her old-fashioned cursive writing which made her 'to Charlene' on cards look like 'yo Charlene' will be something that I remember and laugh at for the rest of my life. I'll never forget the look on her face, when I was younger, and heavily armed guards escorted us to a room in Heathrow to be searched after being caught with weapons in our baggage just a few months after 9/11 (it was only a gun shaped Playstation controller - oops!), or the cheese and apple sandwiches (yes really, and they're so good!) she'd make me as a kid.

Gran did so much for me, and my family, and was always there for us and I hope she knows how much I appreciated her and how much I already miss her. It hurts so much knowing that she's not here anymore, and there are no words to explain how I feel but I hope that she's up there somewhere with a big cup of tea, and as many cakes and biscuits as she likes watching down on us all.

This explains why it's been quiet around here lately, and it's likely that I won't be posting frequently until I find my feet again but please keep following and I'll be back shortly.

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26 comments

  1. Aw what a lovely tribute so sorry to hear about your loss x

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  2. I'm so sorry Charlene, sending lots of love. She sounded like an amazing lady, and I'm sure she's incredibly proud xx

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  3. I'm so sorry, I hope writing this was a bit therapeutic for you though, wishing you the best xxx

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  4. So sorry to hear about your loss, Charlene. I can empathise - I lost my nan just a couple of days before Christmas last year and miss her so much every day. Your Gran sounded amazing, I'm sure she is looking down on you all and making sure you're ok. Remember, you have a wonderful family and awesome friends who are always there to pick you up when you're down. Here if you need to talk, chick. xxx

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  5. Sorry to hear :( Laughing at the playstation controller story though, it's the good memories that'll get you through x

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  6. Aw sorry to hear the news of your gran. She sounds like a lovely lady. Xx

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  7. Sorry to hear about your loss, she sounds like a great lady. It's a lovely post, brought a tear to my eye x

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  8. I am so sorry for your lost, if I lost my grandma, I wouldn't be able to function anymore so take all the time you need to recuperate and find your footing.

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  9. sorry to hear of your loss, big hugs chick xxx

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  10. I'm sorry for your loss x

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  11. Ahh Charlene, sorry to hear this. Focus on feeling stronger first and foremost xo

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  12. Thoughts are with you just now, make sure you focus on yourself and don't feel any pressure to blog or tweet etc till you're ready <3

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  13. Thoughts are with you. She is a beautiful lady and would be so proud of you, x

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  14. So sorry to hear you've lost your Grandma. It's the saddest thing. She sounds like a wonderful, wonderful lady. Sending you all my love. xx

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  15. So sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you. Sending love x

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  16. So sorry for you loss, Charlene. This post was beautiful though, it's always lovely to look back and good memories, the times you laughed. She sounds like a wonderful lady, my thoughts are with you love xx

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  17. Thoughts are with you and your family Charlene, this was a really wonderful post - captures your feelings about your Nan wonderfully. She sounds like she was an amazing person xoxo

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  18. I'm sorry for your loss Charlene, your gran sounded like a wonderful woman xo

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  19. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Gran 10 years ago and I still think about her everyday.
    I'm sure she was a wonderful person.
    Lots of love.

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  20. Really sorry to hear about your loss Charlene, thinking about you lady, she sounds like a lovely wonderful lady xxx

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  21. This post touched me so much. I was extremely close to my Nan. She was this amazing, strong woman born in Glasgow who overcame so much in her life. I admire her so much. She passed away when I was 10, and I regularly think of her as I achieve and approach milestones in my life. Its been fifteen years and although it does get easier, I've found it is impossible to fill the void they leave. My thoughts are with you and your family at this most difficult time. I can remember her with fondness, and know that I am making her proud. I'm sure you made your Nan so very proud, and she will continue to smile down at you as she watches over you.

    God bless x

    Poppy Coburn

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  22. So sorry for your loss Charlene. I hope that with time, it'll be less raw. Remember to take care of yourself through a tough time.

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  23. Oh Charlene, I feel for you so much. We knew Gramps had cancer for one day and then he died the day after. Quite possibly the most heartbreaking experience of my entire life. It's been 4 months now and I still feel just as heartbroken, so heartbroken I can't explain...it will appear in my heart so suddenly that I can't even comprehend it. Nothing will ever take it away, I guess it just gets lesser in opacity. The memories of your grams will never fade and nor will she from your side. Please look for the white feathers...they help, she is around xxx

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  24. So sorry to hear about your nan Charlene. Cancer is a fucker..sorry for my swearing, my boyfriends dad has it and won't be recovering from it sadly this weekend they are having his last fathers day together which is heart breaking. I think at any age, losing someone (not just to cancer) is thee hardest thing to go through. My nan pasted away over 10 years ago now and there's not a day that goes by I don't think of her. I hope you your family are getting the love and support you all need in this difficult time. I think it's nice that you were so close and that you see the good times, I try not to think about times when me and my nan had silly arguments and focus on all the wonderful times. I'm positive your nan knew how much you loved her, big hugs sweetie xxx

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  25. Oh hun, I'm so sorry :(
    My nan does writes 'To' as 'Yo' too! When I was younger I read a card to my parents for their anniversary that said 'Yo Jayne and Joe', of course this ended up in me making and performing a rap.. odd child!
    It's great that you're remembering all the good things though, keep hold of those memories.I hope the pain gets easier with time. xxx

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